I miss my sister so much right now. I'm in the guest room/study of the house she built with her husband and thinking about her, and I just... I just miss her. I want her back. I want her to see her awesome kids. I want her to be here to hug them goodnight. I love them like crazy and I love that they love me - I swear, I get more physical contact in two days here than in months at home (makes sense, I live alone), but these kids should have their mom, and it's not fair that they don't. It's not fair that I won't ever have another conversation with her, that she won't ever surprise me with what she thinks about news in the world or laugh with me at the hilarious thing her youngest son said. It's not fair that her husband has to do all the financial stuff she used to handle. None of this is fair, and being here without her is so hard. It hasn't even been six months since she died, and people say it gets easier with time, but I keep thinking that the longer she's gone, the more she's missed- the more hugs that go unhugged, the laughs that go unshared, the worse it is, not better. I just. I miss my sister.